I’ve been having existential issues lately. Maybe it’s the coinciding of my birthday and Rosh Hashana, maybe it’s because I’ve now spent a few years in hi-tech, known for it’s sophistic idea of money making people satisfied. Actually, being able to pay my bills and being self-sufficient has made me extremely satisfied. I’m happier than I ever was in my 20s, struggling with bills and successive roommates and a string of dead-end jobs.
But… one moves on in life, with new goals and dreams and now I’m wondering what I’ll do in my 40s. My forties!? I mean, what the hell!? How could that possibly happen? Maybe it’s the natural succession of things, maybe after initially struggling in life it’s actually a great blessing to be able to have time and energy to say: “So what does any of this mean anyways?”
And then sometimes I wonder….am I really making sure I’m leading the type of life I want so that when I die I’ll look back and say, yeah, ok, that was good. I did what I wanted and I’m proud of it all.
It also reminds me of Tuesdays with Morrie, the book I read around this time of year. The professor tells Mitch that when you know you’re dying, you really learn how to live.
I saw this great lecture on Ted and thought it was suitable for Rosh Hashana. It really is so easy to get caught up in the day to day.
Wishing everyone a year of meaning and building a life they are proud of.